~suprchic112991

I have discovered to be true one of the many things Sandy has been instructing me since I could comprehend our shared language of “English”. I have recently discovered… Cats… Are…Stinky…And…EVIL.

Of course like everything else in my life, with great discovery comes an interesting yet nonetheless humorous story. I was sleeping. Yes, I was minding my own business—SLEEPING. I live in Florida. It gets HOT in Florida. So, doing what most people in Florida do when it gets hot while they are sleeping, I kicked off my covers. Oh, how the innocent lamb is led to be slaughtered…

Now, I have no doubt in what’s left of my mind that this villainous act was planned. As I slept in my newly found temperature relief, evil was afoot. Since I was asleep during the setup I cannot be certain of how the suspect and convicted criminal carried out her devious crime.

This is how the crime took place…

The unsuspecting victim (Me) awoke from her deep slumber. The heat had passed and now she found that what once only made her uncomfortable now was the only thing that could save her from the chill of early morning A/C. She sits up still half asleep and jerks over herself her sheets and comforter. She rolls over on her stomach. Something hard is pressing into her rib cage.

She rolls over onto her side.

She reaches under her stomach.

She fingers a strange object.

Disgusted that it made her uncomfortable she throws it into the darkness of her bedroom and lies back down. The way she is laying forces the hand that retrieved the strange object near her face— particularly her NOSE.

She sniffs.

In disbelief as to what she just smelt, she sniffs again.

The strange smell…

…
…
…

Urine/Feces.

Quickly she jumps out of bed. Smells the other hand. Same disgusting smell. She smells her nightgown where the object was pressed against—stinks. She sweeps her bed for other objects. But strangely all she finds is unusual tiny rocks spread out all over her sheets like a bunch of crumbs.

She turns on the light and looks frantically for the object that was tossed not too long again. She finds it…

It has landed in her laundry basket.

She looks as in horror, shock, and disbelief.

Do you know what the object is?

Are you ready for this?

…
…
…
…Cat poop covered in cat-scratch crystals.

No lie. This is a true story. Happened LAST NIGHT. THIS MORNING.
I leave you with this:

1. Never underestimate the villainous intelligence of a cat. You tease them. They will remember. You forget to feed them. They will remember. You neglect to brush them. They will remember. You refuse to clean the cat box. They will remember. You fall asleep. THEY WILL TAKE THEIR REVENGE.
2. If Sandy tells you cats are evil—believe her. If Sandy sends you recipes for cat stew—say thank you. If Sandy show you a bumper stink advocating running over cats—smile and nod. If you see Sandy on the ten-o-clock news for being scratched to death—we’ll all know why.
3. Avoid cats if at all possible. If you do come in contact with a cat do all you can to make sure they maintain happy and content. The day you upset a cat…It could be your LAST.
4. If all else fails: Clean the scratch box, sleep with the covers on, and pray you don’t wake up on top of cat poop.

Good Luck!




Now That I’ve Got You Attention…

I haven’t been on here in something close to FOREVER. Ok. Technically, I have been on here, but everything was so outdated it wasn’t even funny. I needed to write a new journal/blog. Shoot, it would be nice to change my profile-picture/avatar. Plus, it would be nice to have [a] somewhat updated photo album(s)! RIGHT!?

Jeepers… Come to think of it, I haven’t written a journal (on deviantart) since I went around deleted stuff. And I haven’t written in my blog (myspace) since… Well, a year ago.

…Anyway and Needless to say I needed to do a lot of work. So, yesterday and today I broke down and did just that.

MYSPACE: Added pictures to my “Friends”, “Family”, and “Other…” albums. I changed my layout, song, and default picture. And—of course—I wrote a new blog entry.

FACEBOOK: Deleted unwanted pictures, and changed my profile picture. Yay!

DEVIANT ART: I uploaded 5 new deviations, updated/changed profile information, and—of course—I wrote a new journal entry.

So, there you have it. I hope all of you enjoy, like, appreciate, fall out of your computer chair laughing at, etc… everything I’ve done, made, and updated.
_______________________________________________________________________

On an entirely different note:

I went to the beach today! Ok, so grant it, I do live in Florida near the beach so actually going to the beach isn’t a new idea, event, or accomplishment. But give me a break people! I don’t get out much! Plus, the water has been freeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzing the last few times I’ve been down there.

However! I am happy to say that the water was great today. It was cool enough to help you escape the hot sun, but warm enough so that tiny weaklings like me were able to swim. All was good…

EXCEPT!

I burnt my eyes!!! At least it feels like it. Well, not my actual eye, but the skin around my eyes. It’s not red or anything, but it hurts like sunburn. I don’t understand it. I put sunscreen on my face—and everywhere else that exposed skin—every chance I got. So, HOW in the world DID I manage to SUNBURN MY EYES!? Oi… ________________________________________________________________________

Once again, on an entirely different note:

The easily depressed and the faint of heart should not read what I am about to write about. It’s mind-boggling. Heart wrenching. Frightening.

I’m warning you…

This is your last chance…

YOU ASKED FOR IT!!

…
…
…
…
…
…
…

…School Starts on August 18, 2008.

CALM DOWN PEOPLE!!! CALM DOWN!!! All is going to be OK. School doesn’t have to be a bad thing… at least that’s what I’m told. Let’s at least TRY to be optimistic about all this. It’s inevitable—well, unless you’re a drop-out. Or you could have already graduated, or.. Anyway, you get what I’m saying (err? Writing?). So we may as well try to work with it…

Let’s see. The classes that I have signed up for are (in no particular order) (and assuming I get to take everything I signed up for) are the below:

*English— English III Honors (yay! = real excited )
*Math— Analysis & Functions (yay… = sarcastic “excited” )
*Science— Anatomy (~gulp~)
^— Stageworks (~high-pitched girly excitement/overjoyed squeal of doom~ )
^— Spanish I (Hola! And that’s all I know… )
?— Photography (I will take picture and they will be good… I hope. )
?—3D Arts & Ceramics (I have three words for you… Bring. It. On. )

And clubs! Ooo!! CLUBS!! Let’s see… I will be in (or at least TRY to be in) the below clubs and organizations:

~Key Club(?)
~FCA [OFFICER!!!]
~Drama Club [HONOR THESPIAN!!!]
~Fin’esse

So, there you have it. School doesn’t have to be a bad thing. If you go to the same school as me, are taking any of the same classes as me, and/or plan to be in any of the clubs/organizations mentioned above—be happy! You get to spend time with me!! I’m assuming (which I’m told is dangerous to do XD) that if you took the time to read this entire entry that you at least can put up with me. So, don’t worry. Be happy. It’s a song.
…I like songs.

Anyway,
This is long enough. I’ve got to go. So, I guess I’ll catch you loyal readers later! Love ya! Leave messages! Leave comments! Enjoy the rest of your summer! And look forward to seeing (some of) you at school!

--Peace--
-Etta